So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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