girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
