can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
