We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
