I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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