Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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