maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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