I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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