The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
