The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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