I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
