thus making me awesome and them whores
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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