He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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