Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize