Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Acid is not a monday night drug
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Randomize
