your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
