More tranny stories later!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
