she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
