I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
