I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
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I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
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She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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