She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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