I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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