bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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