You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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