Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
