Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
