I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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