OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
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A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea