How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.