he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
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Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.