i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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