I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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