You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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