youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
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I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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