it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
