sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
