do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
