It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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