well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
