I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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