I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
