Dual....:-)
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
