Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
