You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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