OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
