I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
