a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
