If i come over, it means nothing
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
