yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm sobbing to NWA
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
