perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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