12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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