I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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