I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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