its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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