some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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