i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sorry about my life...
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
