I just cut my nipple shaving
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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