he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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