Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Randomize
